Practicing Watercolor and Existence Take Two

I wanted to practice my watercolor skillz a little, and had the idea of doing a practice series of some of Bear's favorite toys and things. I'm sentimental about my kid like that.

Hmm, it's funny, but now that I'm actually about to post them I realize I feel more self conscious about posting pics of actual attempts to paint something than I do about sharing my journal pages. I think that's because with art journaling, there are no real goals or rules. It's self expression, an intuitive process, sometimes even spiritual. It's fun to do and cathartic and there is no real way to fail at it. Success means feeling satisfied with your page, and that's that. At least, this is how see it. Whereas with other kinds of painting and drawing, there are more defined principles, measures of skill and talent, etc. I am very much a beginner. But I'm posting anyway, because this blog is about chronicling my arty adventures, so here goes.

Bear's basketball slippers. She really loves these things and wears them all the time around the house; it's too funny. They came in a box of hand-me-downs for her brother, but as they are her size right now she latched onto them something strong. 

One of Bear's favorite stuffed kitty cats. I actually kind of like how this one came out.

In a very different style, here is a journal page I reworked the other day. This is one I had done for the Fall Fearless and Fly challenge, but I was not liking the results very much so changed it up a bit:

You can see the previous version here. I kept the quote from the challenge "Existence really is an imperfect tense that never becomes a present", layered some more paint and stuff, did some scraping through the now many layers. I like the page much better now.

Art Therapy Monster

Lately I've been enjoying learning a little about art therapy and practicing some interventions on myself. Toward those ends, I read all the blogs by art therapists I can find (and I wish more of them blogged as I haven't found all that many). However, the few I do read are pretty awesome and today one of them, Carolyn Mehlomakulu, did a post on metaphorizing problems into monsters via art media of some kind. Rather than elaborate on the dynamics here by quoting too extensively, I'll link to the post in question and encourage people to go have a read. It's interesting stuff.

At any rate, thus was I inspired to create Fran The Tired Monster.

Let me tell you about my monster. I have three children under three. (Well, one of them won't be born for another few months yet, but she still has all kinds of ways of making her presence very much known. So practically speaking, I feel I have three under three already.) I've always wanted at least a few kids and I think there are advantages to having them close in age. Realistically, though, I expect that most of those advantages are things we will be experiencing more in the years to come. Right now, I love my babies bunches but I'm tired a lot.

It so happened that I was particularly tired by the time I got some time to myself today, as I'm fighting off a cold and so is Little Guy, and neither kid was good about taking a nap this afternoon (erm, is this all starting to sound too Dickensian)? I ended up hiring the teeenager across the street for an hour of babysitting so I could rest. Whilst relaxing and skimming the feeds on my google reader, I came across the post mentioned above and thought, "Ah, yes, this is what I will do right now. Make a portrait of my monster of woe."

And so, here is Fran, poor girl:

I didn't actually finish her by the time the kids came home, but that was okay because I set Bear up with some art supplies and we worked together companionably for a bit while Little Guy played on the floor. It was kind of fun-- blending feelings of self pity and humor into an understanding monster that I now have some affection for.

 I think, after the kids are settled for bed, Fran and I will satisfy a pregnancy craving and treat ourselves to a bowl of mint chocolate chip icecream. With vanilla wafers and whipped cream and bananas. Now that is the way to make friends with a monster. :)

Ciao.

Fall Fearless and Fly Challenge 7

I had this unfinished page in my art journal from sometime last week.

When I read about the current Fall Fearless and Fly challenge I had the idea of using the page as a base. Here are the prompts for the challenge: 

Headline Prompt:  Future Imperfect: What is different about your life now than what you once expected it to be?  How is the way it turned out perfect or imperfect.  If your future turns out differently than you imagined in the first prompt, could it still be perfect?
Color Prompt: Yellow
Quote Prompt: "Existence really is an imperfect tense that never becomes a present."  Friedrich Nietzsche

And here is my journal page again, some yellowing up, several layers, some extensive journaling, one imperfect human figure, and one Nietzsche quote later:

 

I dunno. I'm liking the center, the rest not so much. It seems unfinished, but then again that does kind of jive with the spirit of the quote prompt. :) I have a feeling this page will be repurposed and at least partially painted over again someday. Might as well get as much mileage out of my Strathmore Journalas possible. :)

Morally Questionable Behavior

Today's post will be a story about my two year old. :-)

Earlier today Bear, Little Guy, and I were playing in the living room. After a little while Bear wandered into the kitchen, and soon I was hearing tell tale sounds of dishes clattering and liquids being poured from one cup to another. Now, Bear is allowed to help unload the dishwasher and to wash dishes with me from time to time (which she loves), but she is well aware that making unauthorized messes in the kitchen is prohibited, if not always strictly enforced.

"Bear!" I called from the living room.

"Yes?"

"Are you engaging in morally questionable behavior?" (She doesn't know what that means, but I'm pretty sure she recognized from my tone that she was being interrogated as to her actions.)

A moment of silence, then. . .

"Yes."

"Well, maybe you should come back into the living room with us and stop engaging."

Bear soon reappeared,  clutching a coffee cup with a little cold coffee sloshing in it (yes, I hadn't done the dishes yet). She fixed me with a calmly defiant gaze and asserted coolly, "My not stop engaging."

It was cute, there is no denying. I tried not to laugh, and instead meet her gaze with the tolerantly skeptical look of one secure in their authority, smiling while ordering, "Bear, go put that cup back in the kitchen."

It actually worked. If only all our power struggles were negotiated this simply. Meanwhile, it really is fun to use big words with her and watch how she incorporates them into her vocabulary. Maybe she'll be reproaching Little Guy for his morally questionable behavior the next time he tries to play with her toys. :-)

Art Journal Page: Words Behind a Brick Wall

 While I was making today's art journal page, I actually remembered to keep a camera by me so I could snap a few pictures of the page in progress as I went. I enjoy my own blog posts better when I have pics of the stages of a page, so I'm assuming it works that way for readers as well.

Here goes. 

I started, as usual, with some diary writing on a blank page. This began sedately enough but quickly devolved into the pen and paper equivalent of incoherent scribbly screeching. The page actually looks pretty psychotic at this point, but it's all good.

 I colored over it with a couple of my daughter's Crayolas.

Then I drew a rough brick background with a sharpie, painted over it with some very thinned down acrylic cream colored paint,  and added a layer of journaling in pencil.

And here are a couple of the finished page, embellished with more paint, some words, and paper motifs.

 It says, "Words behind a brick wall add character and mystique." I was kind of thinking about that as I worked the page, obscuring my journaling, "walling" it in, in effect. I thought about how much is made in these days of the virtues of authenticity, being real, letting down walls, emotional intimacy, and etc. These are each cliches in their own right. And in all seriousness, I do believe we are the better off for being capable of emotional intimacy. Still. . .  I retain an appreciative regard for secrets, the enigmatic, the elusive quality of silences colored with unspoken words, the mystery of the half told tale.

In Shadowlands, one of my favorite movies, Anthony Hopkins' character says (and I'm quoting sketchily from memory here):

"Why do you look at me like that?"
"Like what?" (Debra Winger's character)
"As though I were lying to you. I mean what I say."
"I know you mean what you say Jack, but you never say it all, now do you?"
"Well, one can't say it all. It would take too much time."

I just love that scene, probably partly because it's so well acted.  But it's true. One can't say it all. Sometimes because it would take too much time, most often because of all we lose in translation.

End of introspective musings for the day.

Hope everyone's year is off to a good start! :)

Linking to Paint Party Friday and Art Journal Every Day.

Christmas Day Art Journal Page

 This is the art journal page I did on Christmas. Since the majority of my relatives calamitously came down with the flu and our holiday gathering was cancelled the very morning of Christmas, I unexpectedly had time for such things. All in all, it was not a terrible holiday though  it had an overlay of melancholy as we missed everyone and felt bad for all the sick ones! But I enjoyed the moments I spent in the living room with my art journaling supply box, collaging and scribbling away while my kids played on the floor.

I had several clippings tucked away in the pages of various books and boxes (because I have yet to really organize such things), clippings that I've loved but was saving for the right moment. For instance, the dress pictures on this page were torn from an old piece of wrapping paper originally from a department store in Italy. My grandmother had been using it to line a drawer or something. I was helping her unpack when she moved houses a few years ago, happened to admire the paper, and she generously gave it to me. :)

The dress dummy was clipped from a magazine, and the black and white images are from a movie illustrated copy of Jane Eyre. I loved them too much to just leave them in the book, and I like the way they look on this page, although they don't exactly tie in with the theme-- on the other hand this page is mostly theme-less, just some random elements I liked and thought happened to look well together to cheer me up on a lonely holiday. Mr. Rochester is included because he is my one true love! (Er, apart from H, that is.)

One Word 2013

In the last couple weeks, as bloggers have been doing their seasonal posts about goals for the new year, I have several times run across an idea that resonates with me more than New Year's Resolution suggestions generally do. The idea is simple: you choose a single word for the year. A word that will remind you of your focus and that is more of an over arching theme than a goal in and of itself.

I liked this idea and a few days after I first heard of it a word did suggest itself. . . so my word of the year is--

Progression.

We've made some good changes in 2012, H and I, both as a couple and individually, and I'd like to continue to explore along the new paths forged rather than setting a goal of taking off in yet more directions.

For instance, my reading has changed in the last year, specifically my online reading. I've become much more selective about what I give my attention to, prioritizing things more according to the effect they have on me. I used to have a higher tolerance for reading things that bored, irritated, or depressed me, because I told myself I cared about the subject matter or that it was important to me to keep up with some trend or controversy. But if you consistently read things that bore, irritate, or depress you, guess what happens? You become a bored, irritable, depressed person. So what is your net gain? Negative something or other. I deleted about a million feeds from my google reader, cleaned out my list of email subscriptions, and have become increasingly choosy about the books I read as well. I want to invest my limited reading time in things that genuinely nurture, inspire, intrigue, and enlighten. Things that make for a feeling of peace.

I also quit facebook in 2012. See paragraph above on prioritizing what I give my reading time and attention to. The reason I stuck around on facebook as long as I did is because I thought it was the simplest way to keep in touch with people I might lose track of otherwise. . . but it dawned on me that the people I really care about keeping in touch with, I talk to outside of facebook. I've found that since I left facebook life seems a bit different, a little slower and less cluttered. It's a good feeling. I don't intend to go back in 2013, that's for sure.

Okay, I need to be less wordy on each of the changes I'm discussing because this post is turning too long and time consuming. Streamline, Leah.

I want to continue incorporating creativity and deeper journaling into my daily life.

Continue blogging.

Become a more integrated member of the little local church congregation we joined.

Continue spiritually searching, being honest about doubt, thankful for faith, real with God and when discussing God.

There are more things I could write about, but you get the drift. It's a good drift, and I want to keep with it.

Progression.

P.S. Check out the One Word 365 Community. Consider writing your own post and linking up!